So I don’t know why we did this, but one day when I was about 13 I was sitting around with my family and one of us found this Far Side cartoon:
And suddenly all of us started making the woop-woop noise exactly identical to the noises in the video above, and we laughed about this FOREVER.
It was a running joke in our house for years; every few weeks or months, into the silence, one of us would let out a woop-woop and then we’d all start doing it and start laughing uncontrollably.
What I’m saying is that woop-woop is good for the soul, I guess.
“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”
You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.
Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are. He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.
Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.
I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.
“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date.
sneaks into people’s bedrooms in the middle of the night
literally steals children and spirits them away
supposedly all of these children are ”lost” and fell out of their prams and whatnot but he also happily absconded with wendy, michael and john who were not even a little bit lost
chopped a man’s hand off and fed it to a crocodile nbd
(peter is supposed to be a child can we bear this in mind)
at the end when he rescues the lost boys et al he sneaks onto the jolly roger and slaughters ten pirates before they even realise he’s there
boy is a stone cold killer yo
and slightly just keeps a running verbal tally through all of it like those children are so unfazed by Peter Pan, Killing Machine
and a couple of quotes from the text to top it all off:
and when [the lost boys] seem to be growing up, which is against the rules, Peter thins them out;
peter thins them out
okay
and my personal favourite:
He often went out alone, and when he came back you were never absolutely certain whether he had had an adventure or not. He might have forgotten it so completely that he said nothing about it; and then when you went out you found the body;
THEN WHEN YOU WENT OUT YOU FOUND THE BODY
?????????????????????????
I wrote my undergrad thesis on that little fucker!! Protip: read the original novelization of Peter Pan. It will weird you the fuck out.
My favorite part is when he scares Hook by mimicking the croc’s ticking noise. Except, in the book, he doesn’t do this on purpose. Instead he’s swimming along to the ship, hears the ticking, and starts ticking along, compulsively. For a few minutes, he sort of FORGETS that he’s human and his mind goes animal-blank, and he’s just rolling along ticking like the crocodile because HE THINKS HE’S A CROCODILE. Fun times.
My thesis was about how he’s a fundamentally amoral character. He does what he likes, and whenever anything happens that could result in character growth, he just FORGETS it.
Peter Pan is seriously like the scary child monster in a horror movie.
If you read the first appearance of Peter in Barrie’s The Little White Bird (later published alone as Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens), it is fairly apparent that Barrie originally conceived of Peter as a ghost of a child who died of exposure in the park overnight, and who now buries other children who get lost in the park after the gates are shut. It ends: “But how strange for parents, when they hurry into the Gardens at the opening of the gates looking for their lost one, to find the
sweetest little tombstone instead. I do hope that Peter is not too
ready with his spade.”
Peter Pan: sort of a kid, but mostly some kind of child-shaped GOBLIN OR SOMETHING idk
That is 100% where Peter came from, but the story is even more complicated and bizarre than that. Barrie spent twenty some odd years writing and revising Peter Pan, in various incarnations, and the true story behind how LWB, Kensington Gardens, Peter & Wendy, and Peter Pan came to be is just… it’s quite unsettling, really. More or less so, depending on which rumors you believe about Barrie and how much stock you want to put into various biographies. But I do recommend you read the Lost Boys biography (Andrew Birkin) if you want to know the truly uncomfortable history behind it.
And yes, Peter was meant to be demonic and amoral, in Barrie’s own words. In fact, Barrie loudly complained about the statue of Peter in Kensington Gardens, because it didn’t “convey the devil in Peter”. Although, I reckon he was more pissed off by the fact that the sculptor, who Barrie paid out of his own pocket to erect the statue, used another boy as the model rather than the images that Barrie gave him to use and, frankly, if I was paying for something like that, I’d be pissed off too.
We need to talk about Peter
no one mentioned that he is twelve years old and has never lost his baby teeth and is described as having tiny tiny teeth with wide wide gaps, which is when i stopped reading the book, and liking peter pan, forever
I don’t think enough people really understand yet exactly how horrific this fire was. This was a loss to our world and species.
This is the kind of fire we think of thousands of years later as the deepest of tragedy. On the scale of the Library of Alexandria. It’s worse than that really. The Library of Alexandria kept copies of books in other locations so historically very little was lost in individual fires over the centuries.
This? We lost so goddamn much in one night.
If you want to help… if you have ANY vacation photos, videos, anything documenting the contents of the museum: You may in fact be the sole owner of a slice of humanity’s soul.
At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.
yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail
tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation
“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?”
“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”
“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”
“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”
“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”
“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”
“Hourly?”
“Hourly what?”
“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”
“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”
“Sold. Off we go.”
“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”
“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”
“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”
“well, sure, of course.”
*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”