It’s INSANE to me how controversial romance novels are. Romance novels. Like, being openly a fan of them immediately opens you up to people constantly coming at you like “but don’t you think it’s ~limiting- and ~juvenile~ to have a genre of books with happy endings for women?”
Like.
No?
Why is it such a big deal to want to read stories where women have sex and then don’t die at the end? Jesus Christ.
Why is the concept of female characters being happy seen as less creative than female characters suffering? (Trust me, creating a world where women win in the end takes a lot more creativity and artistic vision lmfao)
Anyway, literary bros will pry my romance novels with their happy endings from my cold dead fingers.
Or die in the very beginning of the book. But no one calls out James Patterson for writing another formulaic thriller in which a woman is horrifically killed after getting laid and then some man solves her murder. Every. Damn. Time.
But hey, those romance novels where women get happy endings are so limiting, eh?
Real talk: realizing how common it is for female characters to be punished for on-the-page sex with death was a big part of my embracing the romance genre. Once I noticed it I couldn’t unnotice it. It’s everywhere. A woman having sex in literature or non-romance genre fiction is the literary equivalent of a red shirt on Star Trek.
It’s not just the sex thing, though that’s a key element. It’s that, in romance novels, the heroine gets to be cared for the way she normally would care for everyone else. It’s wish fulfillment in that her romantic partner will do emotional labor, spend a great deal of time thinking about her, or sacrifice his desires or fortune or reputation to be with her, or spend days nursing her back to health, or risking his life to save hers. In romance novels, you’ll find men taking care of children, talking about their feelings, putting effort into their appearance—even if they are adorably bad at it. Watch how many romance novel protagonists fall in love with a man who happens to be rich or handsome, but she didn’t give in until his behavior changed and he starts mentoring her, or providing for her, or being gentle toward her, nourishing her, listening to her, appreciating her… I suspect romance novels are looked down upon not for being juvenile formulaic “beach reads” but because they paint a fantasy world that leaves men feeling uncomfortable or even emasculated. But whether you’re a Midwest housewife or a big city CEO, women who read romance novels just want to read about men loving women the way women are expected love everyone else—with a nurturing and protective form of unswerving loyalty. Great sex they don’t have to die for is also a huge bonus, but the *romance* part of the novel is genuinely more about the woman being appreciated (for her beauty or spunk or intelligence at first, and then for all of her by the end).
So are Some Folks™ deliberately trying not to get it or–?
Yes, I can relate to whoever and whatever character is written regardless of whether or not they hit x, y, or z check box of a group I belong to. But I, who happens to fit into boxes x, y, or z live “here” too, and in the art that is meant to reflect “here” I would expect to eventually see a few x, y, or z.
Yes, I can related to a story about some fit white dude named Brett struggling to find a job after college. But far too many “Bretts” seem to get their shit in a twist or act like that can’t relate to a story about Keisha struggling to find a job after college. Or they act like they can’t relate to a story about a couple, Jose and Mario, struggling to find a jobs after college. (This is assuming Keisha or Jose/Mario’s stories get told in the first place!) Keisha and Jose/Mario’s stories get treated like they are “other” while Brett’s story is treated as “the norm.” But Keisha, Jose, and Mario are normal people too.
And it personally bugs when I hear nary a peep from Some Folks™ every time so many Bretts of the world get pissed because a wee a handful of characters aren’t also Bretts, but Some Folks™ get annoyed when the Keisha’s or Jose’s or Mario’s mention they want to see characters with certain aspect of themselves being treated like *people* by the narrative. -_-
It would be something else if they were talking about being sick of EVERYONE complaining about characters in stuff, but to only be sick of people who aren’t “bretts” complaining? *squints* I could even understand being tired and annoyed at the sometimes ridiculous manner with which some “not-bretts” complain. But to sit there and pretend to see no validity in the complaints by Keisha, Jose, or Mario? Ok, Some Folks™.
I got The First Purge from redbox about a week ago and never got my thoughts together.
The movie was not subtle, like…not at all. I knew that going in (the other movies in the series weren’t exactly subtle either). Somehow this one was hard to watch?
With the others I could detach a bit. First movie’s main plot was about “ignorance is bliss,” complacency, and jealous ass upper class neighbors “keeping up with the joneses” fakery. “upper class looks down on the lower.” Second movie’s main plot was about some dude’s quest for revenge but since he’s not a complete dick he helped some other folks he met – a few of whom happened to be lower class – folks survive the damn purge night. There was a bit of “oh, the government is trying to keep purge numbers up because money.” The third movie main plot was about there finally being a politician who sees all the bullshit is bullshit, and protecting her.
Always in the background of these movies was: “yep, shitty government that only values the wealthy has night where it’s legal to kill the poor.”
This fourth movie was like “background? BACKGROUND you say?! We want no one to be able to continue to pretend to be ignorant!!”
As absurd as the idea of a night a encouragement to murder people is, the methods of starting it? The arguments people in that world had that lead to even considering that shit? The callousness (at best) and disdain (at worst) that certain powerful people have for us poor and/or brown folk exists.
The movie was so close to home in those ways that I couldn’t focus (or zone out) during 3rd act action-hero scenes.
“You’re trash. You’ve always been trash. When liberals were polite, you were trash. When liberals got a little rude, you were still trash. Now that we’re tired of your shit and treating you like the trash you are, you’re mortally offended and blaming us for being trash? Get the fuck out of here. You laugh at sexual assault victims. You cheer Latino children being tortured. You get off on police murdering unarmed black men. You mock the disabled. You send death threats to high school students opposed to guns. You call for the murder of homosexuals. You. Are. Trash. I know it’s hard to look in the mirror and realize that you’re the worst that humanity has to offer but you made that choice. No one forced you to be a garbage person. You did that. You. You can stop any time you want, too. But you won’t because deep down inside, you like being trash. Own it. That’s why you love Trump so much. He told you that being trash is OK and you thought you could come out of the shadows and walk tall as a garbage person.”
I love writing like this because its so damn accurate of what wanna be doms do.
MASTERDOM: You are beautiful. phi: Oh. Thanks. MASTERDOM: I’ve decided to consider you. phi: Uh…consider me? For what? MASTERDOM: For training. To be my submissive. phi: Training? MASTERDOM: Yes, you will need to learn how to properly serve me before I accept your submission. phi; I see. Why? MASTERDOM: Because I have standards you will need to meet. phi: No, I mean why are you considering me? MASTERDOM: Why? You are submissive. I am Dominant. You crave my control over you. phi: Right now I’m just craving nutella. Tell me what it is about me that makes you think I’m the right submissive for you? MASTERDOM: Well, that is still under consideration. phi: You’re under consideration MASTERDOM: chuckles Very well. I see we’ll have to train the brat out of you…. phi: Oh, I’m not a brat. MASTERDOM: Oh, you are definitely a brat. phi: Oh, I’m definitely not. But that’s okay, you can’t be expected to understand that yet. But you’re in luck! MASTERDOM: Why is that? phi: Because I am now considering you for acceptance into my Dom Training Program for Wayward Doms. MASTERDOM: I don’t need training, young lady. I’ve been doing this for years. phi: First of all, I’m older than you are, chuckles. And secondly, you need to understand how to properly serve me as a Dom before I can serve you as a submissive. MASTERDOM: That is ridiculous. The Dom does not serve the submissive. phi: The hell he doesn’t. MASTERDOM: I’m starting to think you would not serve me well as a submissive at all. phi: What? You don’t say! MASTERDOM: You are an insolent little whore. phi: Awww, now you start with the sweet talk. MASTERDOM: I don’t have time for this. phi: You’re in luck! One of the first topics we cover in Dom Training is time management!
Some “DOMINANTS” have not understood how D/s relationships works.
Sadly this is more common than finding people who actually appreciates the power exchange, who contributes to development, who are eager to learn, and who actually have a clue about how domination works in reality.
For all submissives out there, don’t fall into the Dom-trap of clueless wannabees. The only thing that comes out of it is misery, anger and frustration. And learn how to dodge those wannabees the way phi did. Very well done.
⬆️ All of this! Yes!
You may be a sub, but you are not his/her/their sub. If you want to play with a dom, you get to say yes. You get to make that choice. ”Training” is negotiated, not forced. Respecting yourself is vital to healthy BDSM play, even if you crave humiliation and degradation.
If you are looking for a dom, one that displays this kind of “alpha” behavior should be disqualified automatically. They will not respect your limits if they start their interactions with you with such blatant disrespect. Only pathological relationships can be found down that road.
Approach me as a bully of a dom and you will throw my switch, and I can become a bigger, meaner dom than you in an instant. Why? Because I am not a sheep. Rather, I am a sheep dog, and I protect those around me from threats. If you think that you can push me around, you will try it with someone else, and it might affect their ability to consent. We should probably have a talk about why that is improper behavior.
If you think that it is a good way to start flirting with someone, you need to rethink your game. Your scene doesn’t start at, “Hello.” It starts when all parties have agreed that it has started. Perhaps you could try, “Hi, my name is X. I see that you are presenting as a submissive tonight. Would you be interested in some light power play, perhaps leading into something a bit more involved if we click?”
this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
ehh what the hell
OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……
WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD
Smile It Won't Suck Forever 