Captain America: Iron Man, you have to switch off the machine NOW
Iron Man: I’m trying but it’s fitted with some sort of defence mechanism that I can’t shut off!
Cap: what’s it doing?
Iron Man: .. It keeps saying ‘please don’t switch me off, I’m scared’ in this tiny little voice.
Cap:
Iron Man: iT SOUNDS LIKE DUM-E’S SAD BEEPING OKAY DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS-
This is hilarious because now I’m just imagining DUM-E being nearby and he literally does not give a SHIT about this tiny robot voice, he is OFFENDED that someone is MANIPULATING HIS FATHER’S FEELINGS, and also he’s a little pistol anyway so he just rolls over, beeping cheerfully, and slams his claw down on the ‘off’ switch repeatedly, while Tony watches on in horror.
“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”
You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.
Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are. He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.
Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.
I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.
“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date.
Smile It Won't Suck Forever 