crackdkettle:

Where is the Sebastian Stan/Anthony Mackie romcom where Sebastian is a mid-level exec of some Whole Foods-esque chain’s corporate HQ in NYC and one day at the gym he physically runs into Anthony who accidentally spills his soy-based protein shake all over him and then they get in a big fight because Seb hates soy because “it’s actually terrible for you, dude, I know, okay, it’s my business to know”, and then he goes into work and it turns out Anthony is the new outside hire from California that blocked Seb’s Big Promotion so now he’s Seb’s direct boss even though he doesn’t know anything about health food (“How do you not know what quinoa is?? YOU’RE FROM CALIFORNIA!” Seb screams at one point).

They complain about each other to their friends but it’s obvious they’re actually into each other. Anthony won’t stop talking about Seb’s “piercing” eyes. Seb won’t stop criticizing Anthony’s “all-leg” workout that’s given him such amazing thighs. Their friends exchange knowing looks over their heads. This is basically the only thing anyone at the office talks about anymore.

They eventually get it together but then Anthony pitches a soy-based product to the board and Seb feels betrayed. They wander around New York looking sad to an acoustic Ed Sheeran song. Anthony throws out all his soy milk. Seb cries next to a thighmaster.

Anthony wins Seb back by enlisting his friends to get him to a rooftop where Anthony’s waiting with a million candles, a string quartet, and a quinoa salad he made himself. “You learned what quinoa is,” Seb whispers as they move together for a kiss. “I learned what quinoa is,” Anthony murmurs against his lips. When they finally pull back he adds, “It’s disgusting!” and Seb gives a watery laugh before kissing him again.

Their soy-free bok choy quinoa salad takes the world by storm. Seb gets a promotion. Anthony starts drinking almond milk. They never skip leg day.